Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Day 1: Freefall ...

Dear God help me ...

I'm doing this, but not after 3 desperate cups of coffee with cream, now consumed and enjoyed thoroughly. I kept waking up the night after last night's disgustingly heavy dinner (but so yummy), and every time I did I agonized about whether or not I should drink coffee as my final send-off from poor dietary habits. I ultimately concluded that it wouldn't make a difference one year from now, so, brain, just SHUT UP, HAVE it, and MOVE ON!!!! So that's what I did ...

I am scared. How will I ever do this think?? I don't really want to be the odd man out. I don't want to hang out with raw foodists all the time. I have often come home from raw potlucks wanting to vomit, and not from the food: From the sickening self-righteousness and utter lack of compassion I have found at times. I've often had a response, when telling people of the horrible difficulties I have had with cravings, similar to (and I'm dramatizing a bit, but you get the point), "Ew! How could you even TOUCH cooked food. Disgusting, horrible, TOXIC stuff. I, for one, wouldn't even put it on my skin, and I CERTAINLY wouldn't eat it even if it was the ONLY thing left in the whole world to eat! Raw food is the only real food, and it tastes so much better too!" ... my fingers are down my throat right about now. I do concede that maybe ultimately some of this is true, or I wouldn't be starting a blog about trying to follow this path. But this type of treatment, which I have encountered time after time at potlucks and on message boards, I have found to be so insensitive, unproductive, and unhelpful. It certainly never stopped me thinking of pizza, and probably even made me think of it more, as I thought to myself, "Now where would be the least likely place that I will ever see this person again??"

I, for one, am all in favor of understanding and gentle kindness. I want to meet people who have struggled with this, and found the solution, not necessarily just those who believed in it with such unbroken conviction that they never looked back. This is why I was so thrilled to get a post on
Doug Graham's message board from Sarah who told me how long it took her to get over her cravings (about 2 months) and introduced me to her wonderful blog about her experience with the 80/10/10 lifestyle (also abbreviated 811 or 811RV (for raw vegan)). Halelujah! There are sane people out there!

Nay, nay, I'm too hard on the raw community. One of my very dearest friends (hi Ela!) is a long-time raw fooder, and she's the greatest. I have a lot of respect for many raw fooders. It's just that the few harsh ones have really spoiled it for me at times, because I'm not one who wants to be uptight and serious all the time.

Funny, just after drafting the above I opened
Paramahansa Yogananda's commentary of the Bhagavad Gita and read this: "The yogi, the man of perfect equilibrium, is neither hypersensitive nor stoically heartless" (Verse 30, pp. 240, book I). I can only conclude that many of us -- most of us -- have not yet achieved perfect equilibrium.

I'm off for my colonic -- gotta get rid of that paneer tikka somehow! -- marking the true start of this journey. Wish me luck in this whole endeavor.

Over and out ...

Today's Stats:

Food:
  • Coffee with 3 tbsp half & half
  • 2 mangos
  • 3 bananas
  • 2 bananas
  • 1 asian pear
  • Juiced cucumber, spinach, celery
  • 2 kiwis
  • 2 cups grapes
Weight: 115.8
Body fat: 23.6%
Hydration level: 52.5%
(In case you are wondering, I have a Tanita scale which measures this stuff.)

2 comments:

ybr (alias ybrao a donkey) said...

Could you kindly specify the object of your blog?

sivegcookyb.blogspot.com

Stacy said...

Healing through the 80/10/10 raw vegan diet, with an emphasis on endocrine system healing.